Tuesday, July 11, 2006

a big, big yard

The world is a funny place. There are skunks and butterflies, urban decay and endless twilight oceans, laughter and tears, wonder and horror, all swirling around us every day. It is a place where we find our greatest joys, and realize our worse defeats. Surprises, yesssss!!! moments and dull, endless daytimes intermix freely. Some days we're so sure of everything, and other days we're only sure that we're not sure of anything. And sometimes the sadness and harsh things of life can blot out the memory of all beauty like an eclipse of the sun.

Today I was dropping my oldest daughter off at the Martz bus station and back to college, chatting away with this confident young woman who burst into our family as our first joy and has tramped around this crazy world for 23 years now. She's beginning to find her way in life, experiencing all that it has to offer, making choices and making a mark that will change lives around her forever. Looking at her I begin to feel a settleness in the craziness, a deep sense that everything has been worthwhile.

When the kids were younger, there was a song they all loved off a pop Christian compilation cd that was catchy and fun, and they'd join singing as soon as it came on. The chorus went something like this, "Come and go with me, to my Father's house...it's a big, big house, with lots and lots of room, a big, big table, with lots and lots of food, a big, big yard, where we can play football, a big, big house, it's my Father's house." I want my space in life to be like that song, a place where people can come and be a part of a big family. In the midst of the happy and sad, I want my world to be big enough to contain everything that life dishes out and continue to be a big, big house with lots and lots of room...

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