Monday, September 25, 2006

yellow...err, white letter day

Well, I did not make it to the prison. I was sick as a dog, so it was a pleasant surprise to receive a letter from my son in the mail today. So I will let him have this blog...

"What's goin' on, y'all? (y'all? y'all?!) You know, absolutely nothing here. Still trying to get back east so I can relax (mom note insert-he was moved to a different block which has a dorm situation, and hates it). Did I tell you I got the dictionary/thesaurus? It made it intact. I've had a few escapades the last week involving espionage, cunning and acting the part of impossible stupidity in order to deceive authority figures and break the bonds of the west side. There are stories to be told, all in good time.

Other than that it's very boring. I'm actually a little confused by the set up of these older blocks. On either side there's an 8 person dorm. There's a cage surrounding their door and what should have been 13 cell which is their bathroom. Also, for some God-forsaken reason there are no doors on the downstairs showers. There's only a short obstructing wall. Gee, thanks. Anyone tossing their laundry in the cart can see well over it. Now, wouldn't it be easier to put in doors (like the upstairs), or even a curtain, than to build some half-assed wall? Ask the Chinese it it's easier to build a wall or hang a door. I'll bet nobody died building the Emperor a walk-in closet. Blah!

Get this! They actually stopped selling salsa/pizza sauce because of an episode of Mythbusters. That deserves a spot on Ripley's...because I'm finding it hard to believe. Dont' tell me I can't make prison pizza. You can make an EasyBake oven out of a lamp and a potato chip bag, though. Neat, huh?

The Mythbuster's episode was the transistor radio and salsa on the window bars to weaken and break them. Talk about knee-jerk reaction. You can do better with salt water and a dc converter bought on commissary. Duh! Converters are 7 bucks, compared to demolishing a $43 radio. Besides, the window is about 10 inches wide with 1 squared bar on the inside, one on the outside, and a chunk of shatter proof lexan between 'em. This isn't even considering the fences drizzled with razor wire to the extent as if it were being handed out for free. Christmas trees don't see that much tinsel. God help you if you break out when guards are on the firing range. Chances are you'd stumble across it heading for the tree line...."

Needless to say I think the prison is safe with salsa, and he goes on to say they are selling it again, huzzah! So, that's life in lock up, and things are looking better here as well. At least less drippy.


Post a Comment

<< Home