Sunday, November 09, 2008

workin' 9-5

As I think about where I'm headed these days and what I do with my time, I'm really ready for my life to be more structured and to be able to look back on my day's time and feel that it has been more significant. I've been so fortunate, sincerely, to have had lots of opportunities and "explore" time in my life. I have to see that as the gift that it was. I did not have to, or did not choose to, go off to a 9-5 job. I opted to stay home with my kids, to go back to school to develop my art skills and to be "on call" more or less for my husband and volunteer my time.

I had a day last week where it seemed from morning until the evening, I was where I needed to be, it all seemed important to me and I closed me eyes simply feeling like this was the pattern for the way I should be living now. Certainly not every day is going to be that, and I realize that was only one-going to a job could get old, I don't always want to be running from morning until evening and every part of life has its seasons. I have wonderful ministry opportunities now-no lack of "stuff" that is important to fill a day. I'm just tired of my schedule being controlled by other family members. It is no longer necessary. Our boarder, Eric, is coming into the home stretch of his time with us, and that is another thing that has told me I'm really done sitting around or racing home because he needs the car, or something, due to his schedule. I'm ready to focus on the home here and fill the role I've waited years to be able to. I have contributed one way to the home, and now I'm ready to contribute in a more independent way. I look so forward to it. I have the freedom to develop a career and assist my husband financially.

Another thing that caused me to take stock of my life was the fact that I'm going to visit my sisters over Thanksgiving. I'm very excited to go, very anxious to spend time with them. I got an e-mail from the youngest suggesting we all think about volunteering to serve turkey dinners on the day as an antidote to the "stuff yourself silly and be totally lazy" routine. It's a great idea, but only a luxury for someone who is totally focused on their own life most of the time. Volunteering and serving others is so built into my whole existence I don't need any more opportunities. I sincerely want the other part of life, that which every feel good tv movie seems to condemn if it morphs into workaholism. I don't think that is a danger here. What they don't mention is that it is not pleasant to be constantly scratching for cash and always be giving to others when we have needs. There needs to be a balance. We won't be serving turkey dinners this year. Maybe next.

Yesterday I spent three hours watching TV Land (old reruns of Third Rock) with my cat. It was good. Like a person used to overeating, I want to have an appetite for a weekend and fun stuff. Right now I don't. I think a daily routine will be the remedy.


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