Sunday, August 13, 2006

nuclear reactions

I admit that I have been on both the giving and receiving end of misunderstandings. While I'm not a volatile person, I can be very emotional about certain things and too quick to react. I'm learning what it is to be a person who judges rightly when problems come up, because I tend to put the "fix-it" hat on before I know all the facts and say, do or write things I later regret. That hat is off to leaders I know and have known in the spiritual and secular world who must deal with such situations day in and day out. My apologies to you when I have caused you such aggravation. But the only way to learn how to have wisdom is to be put into those situations which require it.

I recently wrote a letter to a person I know to be very emotional and quick-tempered. A person who felt they were wronged by this individual called me and asked for my advice and help. (Note to self-another really bad place to be is in the middle of a dispute). At any rate, there was a good reason I was called, and in this instance it was my responsibility to intervene. I felt my only recourse was to write, because in the past talking to this person could produce some unwanted results, e.i., being screamed at, insulted, misconstrued...and I did receive an extremely angry letter in return. It was a flame-thrower that would have certainly disintegrated me on the spot. I had to admit, however, I did not get all the facts in the beginning. I therefore felt the only right thing to do was to write an apology where apology was needed even though the caller's concern was valid.

In the end I realized that every individual will view me through their own lense of truth. I will do the same to them. Wisdom is in finding those nuggets which are actual truth and dealing with them, not the things that perhaps should been left unsaid and were the residue of anger and hurt. I'm so very grateful to people who give me much room and grace to be right, and to be wrong, and still love me anyway. For the ones that can't or won't, I can only try to do what is right, and sometimes that leaves a body at the bottom of a barbeque pit. Sigh...

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