walking in the Spirit

There is a difference in my life, a measureable, noticeable difference. I realized it yesterday, riding home from work. The day was very busy, not a moment to do anything else but get the work out and eat a quick lunch in the middle of it all. This came on the heels of a busy couple of weeks. But the busyness was not the type that required constant motion and little mental or spiritual engagement. It required much engagement, motivated by being led of the Spirit in my life. I always wondered just how that works, choosing to live by the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh. Well, yesterday I began to have real experiential understanding.

In the car I began to have chest pains. A paralyzing fear came over me. I don't indulge myself in many ways, but when it comes to physical symptoms and problems, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Immediately I got the clammy palms, a tension headache-in short, fear began to creep up my spine as the pain was intermittent and not leaving me alone. I wondered mentally whether I should have my husband go straight to the hospital. I pondered a 47-year life span and figured I really have done alot and that would be ok, if that is what it was to be (talk about a fatalist!!). But I got hold of myself and began to pray. A slow transfusion of courage overtook the terror inside. I knew what I needed to do. I would go home, take an aspirin, hot shower and a cup of joe, and see how I felt. My larger sense told me a panic attack had set on me due to the overwhelm of sensory and emotional imput, coupled with my busy day. But you know what-I told my body to relax, and it began to. The pain began to go away and I returned phone calls, ate dinner and changed, and checked in with a friend who had been having a really bad week. She needed to get to a Bible study we both attend, so I wanted to be sure she was coming.

This is not the person I was even a few months ago. What I realized in fact is that the Spirit does indeed have power over the flesh, in actual practice-it isn't fantasy or wishful thinking. It doesn't mean being an idiot or ignoring our body or emotions. It means that at any given moment the Holy Spirit's power is accessible, His wisdom, comfort, insight, strength...oh, yeah, WHEN we choose to access it. I needed His power to continue my day and do the will of the Father. Jesus did exactly the same thing-He did what the Father asked Him to in the power of the Holy Spirit. It works, it works, it works. This is fantastic. The implications are beyond what I ever dared to imagine in my life.