dishing the prison dirt

Well, it's my son's turn to take the entry today. He got a typewriter, so his letters are much more compact and easier to read. He included a story about someone who has a problem with gay men and showering, which is sort of comical, so enjoy...

"See, this dude is absolutely paranoid of gay dudes. Scared to death, and self-conscious to boot. Like me he lives on the bottom tier, and when you live on the bottom, you shower on the bottom...in the open queerbait showers. He solution: sneak up top to the closed ones, or don't shower at all. Well...the guard on duty wouldn't let him sneak up, so he was stuck. For a MONTH. Funny part was no one ever noticed except for one of our lifer buddies let us in on a secret. I was 1st to know and I didn't want to say anything. I thought it was funny, I sort felt sorry for him, and I never noticed. If no one else knew, why should I be the one to spread it? Didn't take long for the others to find out, and we had an "intervention". True Life: I don't shower. By now you're prob'ly roaring. We ground him up for weeks. It was Yard Out, no holds barred. Slim was singing his own rendition of "Dirty Deeds" by AC/DC called "Dirty Dude". Poor kid almost never heard the end of it. "Dirty Dude! No shampoo!..." Then we forced him to wash his sweats, which he claimed were permanently stained. When those bastards finally came back from the laundry they looked white as the wind-driven snow. Subsequently he was harped on for that. When you get serious dirt on people (hey, a pun!) nothing in the world is going to stop a healthy ragging...that may last for months on end."

Well, I guess that's it for this prison version of Tide Country brought to you by Bob Barker brand incarceration bathing products, no lye!