today

Today in church our Celebrate Recovery band is performing a song and the leader of the ministry is explaining a bit about what we are. The band has rock and roll delusions a bit, as all men over thirty do, but we have fun and we're not half bad. We only perform on Friday nights so the church really doesn't see what goes on. I'm a little nervous-we're supposedly introducing ourselves as we do at CR just like any 12 step meeting. But we figure sometimes the most polished church member is the one who really needs some help and doesn't know where to look or how to ask.

Brandon is officially out of the hole, thank goodness. That's another blessing of today-he called his dad yesterday and wants to talk to me, so he's calling again today. I can't wait! We haven't heard from him in several weeks. He still has his job but is on probation for two months and won't be working.

And I need to really begin asking myself some questions about an issue I'm working a fourth step on now. I've always used food to cope, and I have to look at what is healthy living in that regard, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I don't know how to live with this well-I never have. The twenty pounds I lost is now back on plus some weight, and I'm not sure what the answer is-after forty years of struggling, there must be something. This morning brings it front and center-if I introduce myself as someone finding victory over codependency and food issues, that needs to be the truth.