Monday, September 21, 2009

labor pains

We were able to visit Brandon over Labor Day weekend. The weather was spectacular, clear blue skies and all that fall can be in Pennsylvania with the trees beginning to turn and the air still not too snappy. The journey was picture perfect in terms of travel-no fog, no rain, smooth sailing. And for a holiday weekend, the crowd in the day room was sparse. Holiday weekends are the best time to travel now that I'm on a 9-5 schedule, and so I didn't mind the long day. But we were all tired, Brandon included. By the time 1:30 pm rolled around we were all ready to call it a day.

It was a good time as usual, but in the course of conversation I realized, as I probably do each time we go, this road could not have been avoided. More information keeps coming out, and as much as I want my son home, I don't know if home's the best place for him. It is such a fine line. I ran into an old friend of his at Office Max, a neighbor of ours years ago. The kids grew up together and seeing this young man now reminded me how much time has passed and how much has changed, and how much hasn't. I sincerely feel Bran needs a completely fresh start. I want him with us, but not if the cost is constant struggle. It will be hard no matter how things work out, but I want to believe the best and want to have faith that somehow he was spared and somehow it all made a difference.

Time will tell, I suppose. I'm grateful always to read about and talk to the guys who did make it out and who are changed, or are motivated to "do it right this time". It's tough. But seeing it happen in the real world surely makes a difference.