Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Before a Fall...And After

May 26, 2010

If I sit calmly and think about the past 5, 6 years of life, I see an arc of purpose stretching over the journey. I am a Christian, and to me that means God is actively involved in shaping my life. He is in control ultimately, and while I have free choice to do as I please, I fully recognize, if I don't bow to, His sovereignty. His job is shaping the raw clay of our lives, those of us who invite Him to do so. I think it was the great Christian writer and educator C.S. Lewis who said something to the effect, to think that people "find" God is something like thinking a mouse "finds" a cat. Healthy respect for His purposes, His plans and His lordship is the foundation of the arc, and humility the broad stretch road overall from then until now. Not that it hasn't been in the past, but clearly, now this is the lesson, the journey, the goal...I must learn to obey.

From the moment we realized our son was in serious trouble, my prejudices and pride have come into bold relief. I was loath to enter a police station, a courtroom, have our names in a paper connected to crime, a county lock-up, a prison, a recovery meeting...you name it, it stung my pride like a thornbush pricks flesh. I hated it. Everything I thought myself to be, or so very much, was based on outward and worldly good looks. I did well, I looked well, I performed well, my family was well (sort of-enough to get by). But my heart was not well. I despised people who were uneducated, dirty, uncouth and ignorant-and that was outside the prison bars. I made assumptions, and God blasted every last one of them. I have had my hard heart broken by people I thought I could never love, I was led by the hand by inmates into understanding and compassion, through circumstances I was sure would ruin our family and that made it better, stronger and more real than it ever could have been without the suffering and shame. It is a paradox that continues, so against the grain of all I had been taught. Loving unfortunates was fine as long as you weren't one of them.

My journey continues at a secular job I need desperately, customer service, $11 an hour. Once again, that stubborn streak of "I'm above this" show its ugly head in my performance and my attitude. I had thought that I'll simply put up with what I MUST do for now, and then when I get where I need to be financially, I'll do what I really should be doing, show the world how really talented I am. Chuckle. Except that God has other ideas, like, listen to your bosses and DO what they say. Respect your co-workers. Respect the job. I shared with my husband and another friend that I keep thinking about the scene in the movie The Devil Wore Prada, where Stanley Tucci's character is berating a whiny Anne Hathaway for her self-pity, complaining about her monster of a boss. He reminds her she has no respect for the industry and the people who work in it, and that there's a line stretching out the door of people who would kill for that job. Our job market here in the Northeast is depressed. To find something with some security, benefits, good working conditions, weekends free, is really tough. God forgive my lousy take on this gift, which it is, and hopefully I'll be a good student of life and listen this time. What else could happen? Oh no, wrong question!!!!!

31 Comments:

Blogger M12aeganT_Moe12 said...

你的選擇就是做或不做,不做就永遠不會有機會.............................................

9:29 PM  
Blogger 建霖 said...

向小善致敬,它使人生旅程較為平順。......................................................

12:02 AM  
Blogger 730A_ngelinaRabideau0 said...

~~天天開心~~祝您快樂~~ ........................................

5:50 AM  
Blogger 又陽 said...

What must be must be. ............................................................

7:31 PM  
Blogger SadeRa盈君iford0412 said...

A good medicine tastes bitter. .........................................

5:58 AM  
Blogger 萱祥 said...

Where did you purchase this product?.................................................................

1:33 AM  
Blogger 王瑞 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。......................................................................

7:47 PM  
Blogger 江婷 said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。......................................................................

1:51 AM  
Blogger KrisMcmillen07星美 said...

一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼............................................................

6:46 PM  
Blogger 泓發 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

6:46 PM  
Blogger 政翰 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

7:56 PM  
Blogger 黃怡 said...

向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。............................................................

1:39 AM  
Blogger chen said...

Prevention is better than cure.............................................................

12:38 AM  
Blogger 婷珊 said...

好文章就值得回響,如果可以常常看到您的更新,應該是件很幸福的事情~~............................................................

8:51 AM  
Blogger 吳婷婷 said...

好文!值得一推~~加油哦!............................................................

8:42 PM  
Blogger 韋以韋以 said...

Drive carefully. It is not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.............................................................

8:48 PM  
Blogger 佳皓佳皓 said...

let us be happey everyday!!............................................................

5:07 AM  
Blogger 承蘋承蘋 said...

感覺很用心經營呢!鼓勵鼓勵.................................................................

8:47 PM  
Blogger 琬安琬安 said...

我們能互相給予的最佳禮物是「真心的關懷」。.......................................................

6:18 PM  
Blogger 劉佳仲 said...

Learning makes life sweet.

7:58 AM  
Blogger 楊燕沛楊燕沛 said...

我在戀愛著?--------是的,因為我在等待著.................................................................

2:55 PM  
Blogger 吳許芝蓮佩儒 said...

良言一句三冬暖,惡語傷人六月寒。......................................................................

7:07 PM  
Blogger 君黃怡黃怡 said...

Knowledge is power................................................

6:08 PM  
Blogger 王辛江淑萍康 said...

Make hay while the sun shines...................................................

4:43 AM  
Blogger 陳倩江陳倩江陳倩江 said...

不費勞力而得者,唯貧困而已................................................

8:14 PM  
Blogger 張王雅竹欣虹 said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份............................................................

3:44 AM  
Blogger 翊翊翊翊張瑜翊翊翊 said...

善言能贏得聽眾,善聽才能贏得朋友。......................................................................

4:43 AM  
Blogger 翊翊翊翊張瑜翊翊翊 said...

時間可證明一切~你的BLOG是我覺得不賴的............................................................

3:46 PM  
Blogger 洪勳劉耀德劉耀德華 said...

從人生中拿走友誼,猶如從生活中移走陽光......................................................................

8:39 PM  
Blogger 石JaquelynS_Whitesi白 said...

找一個懂妳的人也期許自己做一個人懂別人的人.. ... ............................................................

6:20 AM  
Blogger Darrell said...

Dear Prison Mom,

We are calling on you today with an important message to give a voice to the voiceless and build a modern “Underground Railroad.” The “Obama Answer This” Project is the initiative of an incarcerated father and if he can reach the people out there then we hope we can count on you to spread the word because with 2.3 million behind bars we can no longer afford to turn a blind eye.
www.obamaanswerthis.com or you can upload the video at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F34p0YiSp8g&feature=player_embedded
This is also the link to The Music Movement:
http://obamaanswerthis.com/do-something/
It is time to push something real out. Lets go hard for our people behind the wall, lets go hard for our kids out there that may face what is coming back their way, lets go hard together collectively because for the bottom there is no “agenda” and he has to answer to what is happening on our inner city streets and behind barbed wires. S
Sincerely,

The team

9:22 AM  

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