done

I'm done. Done with classes at the college, done with a commission that took two weeks, done getting our Christmas tree, done doing busy work. For now. What I'm starting is a regimen of practice, begun today. I'm dizzy from drawing. I'm not used to drawing all day. I started with Virtual Pose figures and am working on a double portrait. It will be a gift, but it is also practice. I have to get into the habit of doing as much art as I can daily. Tomorrow I break out the acrylics and practice again. For the first time ever in my career I'm not working on a masterpiece, commissions one after the other or pieces for shows. I'm giving myself room to develop and make mistakes, experiment and build artistic creative muscle that I'm going to need to become the artist I should.

I just received books on artist Kathe Kollwitz. One is a book of reproductions and one is her translated letters and diary. My eyes fell on either a preface or some information about her, noting she was not even really discovered by the art community at large until 50 years old. That's next year for me. I'm not sure how I feel about that except, I really, really need to practice and begin making whatever statement I'm going to to the world very soon.

And it feels that way. My prior work was done for recognition, for money, for friends...all ok, all good, but there comes a time when it's all or nothing. Keep puttering or get moving. I'm done...with puttering.