Wednesday, May 21, 2008

happy thoughts from hades

Most prison families in the course of incarceration become acquainted with the WONDER, the HORROR, the PHENOMENON...known as prison greeting cards (AAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhh....insert an offline female scream....!!!!!) Yes, these overpriced gems of subliterary genius and artistic merit are so unbelievably...well, unbelievable, one could only imagine disgruntled employees of Hallmark being to blame (there must be a lesser known company in the shadow of the famous greeting card giant-Hellmark). I received just such a card from my son for Mother's Day, and I simply had to include images. Ok, the cover is acceptable cheap greeting card stock, though I can't imagine who else it would be for except "You". I did have a little trouble deciphering what was around the flowers. Still, you get the idea.

Ok, now proceed to the inside sentiment, "Telling you today what's true through the year-----
you're very special". Now this just can't leave my son's hands without embellishment, which cannot be read by looking at the images. Here we go, "Telling you today what's true through the year-----(where original writer died, mid-sentiment....), you're very special (...the hasty, feeble recovery by a lesser man, Monty Python-style voice over). And then Brandon adds, "What, is that supposed to a haiku? That's aweful, so bad in fact I felt 'awful' deserved an 'e' to add emphasis! Let's not order any more greeting cards from New Zealand, 'tis a silly and unimaginative place." The reason for the last line is because this little beauty was printed in New Zealand.

I have several other cards from male inmates that I treasure simply because they are my friends and because I know if these guys were on the outside they would die rather than send the pap the commissary seems wont to stock-price most certainly being a factor. But send them they do, and I do appreciate it. What might be one person's trash is another's treasure as the old saying goes. Love you, Bran. And your matchless wit.


Blogger ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

Oooooh my goodness. Brandon is FUNNNNY!

Isn't that the BEST card EVER????

I think Brandon should be designing his own greeting cards while he's there... genuine, true to situation, from the heart cards. He'd make a mint! LOL

That's awesome Sue ("e", LOL!)

7:09 PM  
Blogger joannie said...

You know, I did think about that...these things mean so much to me. Every card and letter he writes has little asides like this and it just makes me feel like he's home. I'll have to encourage the idea, with an "e"! Chuckle!!

3:37 AM  

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