Saturday, January 27, 2007

how it ends

Yesterday I was flying around trying to finish up the latest portrait I'm working on (of my son), shoot slides, frame, drop off work and think about what it all means. I'm laid off from the dental lab and so trying to take advantage of the time and really work hard with my art. A childhood friend of mine who has always loved music and performed e-mailed to say she's trying to figure out a computer program that would enable her to record and burn a cd to share. I'm so glad.

I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" the other night and what a life-affirming message it contained, though I didn't agree with everything presented (the background soundtrack was DeVotchKa-if you haven't heard them, pick up the cd "How It Ends"-mine is already practically dead I listen so much). But the gist of the movie was, be yourself and go for it, no matter where the road does end. Simultaneously with all of my busyness, I picked up the mail out of the box and got an Artist's Magazine. And there, in the magazine, was featured a young woman I know-she was listed among the up and coming artists under 40. I was tempted to think, "Why am I even trying?" It seems like this woman has had every advantage. She is married to a high profile artist, already in the big-name gallery where her husband shows, and she isn't even 30 yet. I had just come from droppping off artwork at our local college, and took time to view a student show that was up. I expressed interest in buying the work of one painter who in my opinion SHOULD have been on that "under 40" list. Such confident painting! Amazing for a student!

And back to my childhood friend. She was one that I always felt would "make it". She had a natural stage presence, an un-selfconscious air that was refreshing and reflected a genuine love of life-it seemed all there. And now I get this message that she finally feels that is all coming back. What happened in her life's road to bump her off that track? And finally, nearing 50 years old (a very young 50), she's feeling what she felt at 7 or 8 years old. I heard it said, it isn't how you begin, it's how you the question to all of us at any place in life is I guess, how does it end for us? I think that is something we can change any day, in any way.


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