Wednesday, March 28, 2007 happens.....

Some things in life simply tire me out, and need to be let go of. I can't control what other people do. My partner in prison ministry wisely pointed that out. We were talking about forgiveness, and I told her I try to keep short accounts in this life. She said five people may accept your forgiveness, but we always tend to dwell on the sixth that doesn't, or the one thing that isn't right among so much that is.

I guess that is where my mind is today and I have to pull it away, just like someone pulling me away from a knot of people whispering about me and looking with furtive stares. Why do I do this to myself? I have a hard time letting go. I don't always understand how other people think, and therefore cannot impute motives to what they do (or don't do). I can only worry about my motives.

I also cannot build my life around what other people want, need, think, expect, wish of me. That is a recipe for disaster. As it is for anyone else, and so I try hard not to do that to other folks. But you need those few who hang with you no matter what and put up with the needing and wanting, the thinking and expecting. Oh well, I've never been one to stay stuck forever. Guess it's time to move on for sure.


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