desire

"Ode to Joy" detail by Susan Obaza (acrylic on paper)

It's been a weird past couple of months, starting at the end of August. I started back to college with my youngest daughter. We took in a boarder. I pretty much lost the time and space to create, though in all honesty if you want it badly enough you will find it. I was unsure of myself, the time, the space of life that I was living in. I hadn't painting since August and began again in January. I had to. I had to. I was out of my mind with desire to create. A sweet friend reminded me regarding his own struggles, that to everything, there is a season. I know this. But I have learned that I HAVE to create. If I do not I am tormented. This precious gift is a very personal and dear treasure to my heart. God in His wisdom may not take away the earthly things that trouble and harass, but He brings comfort, and in my brushes I find it. I'd like to think that every loss brings gain, every time away and every struggle enriches our experience. It brings more and more meaning to that which is good, that which we can share with the world-our very selves. My self, my heart, comes out on paper. I pray to God that I paint and draw with my heart. Many artists have expressed this sentiment. And it never stops being true. As long as my painting is an act of worship, an affirmation of the goodness of life and the desire to live, it will be the gift God intended me to have. And my love back to Him, and the world.